Why is This so Hard?
by Sentury
Summary: It's been sixteen years since Ike left, but what he never realized was what he was leaving behind, and how much the people he left would miss him. But the Greil Mercenaries live on in its members, both new and old.
1. Chapter 1

Mist stared at her friend, the maybe twenty yards between the two felt like miles. As if it would take Mist a lifetime just to reach her. The wind picks up for a moment and it blows her friend's purple hair wildly. Mist can't help but think to herself how beautiful the scene looks, how beautiful Mia still is after all this time. It's not the first time she's thought this; in fact it's about the thousandth. Every morning is the same; at dawn as the sun rises; there her friend sits on the wall surrounding Greil's Retreat. Her head is tilted slightly and leaning against the pillar, her left leg is inverted in an upside down V-shape while the other lies flat, her arms are crossed, and those eyes stare at the pathway that leads into the woods. Somehow her eyes never seem to break from that spot. Never once has Mia turned around to see Mist staring at her in helpless agony. And today is the same, and today is different. Mist knew now that Mia loved her brother. How she never realized it before in all the time they spent together, in all those wars was beyond her, but she knew the day he left, the same day Mia sat in that same spot clutching his blade and his headband that she loved Ike. If there was ever a day that she should have gone to her to try and ease Mia's pain it was then, but she hesitated and the moment was lost. And now there was no way of reaching Mia. Her friend mind as well be in another country for how distant and isolated she seemed.

It was a horrible feeling that Mist felt. Horrible for not having been there for her friend, horrible for not understanding then, how she must have felt to know she was never going to see the man she loved ever again, and horrible that, for all the power she possessed; all her healing arts and her swordsmanship, she was powerless to do anything for Mia. In her youth she didn't understand, but she knew love herself now, and what seemed so mysterious to her before now seemed so much more real. Boyd had always been there for her, they had shared their lives together and he was the one that made Ike's departure bearable. There was no one there for Mia that day, there should have been, but there wasn't. And for all the wounds The Maiden of Blades had received in her life, that one was undoubtedly the worst.

'A shame,' Mist lamented to herself, 'that there is no staff to heal a broken heart.' And it was true; there was no magic that could heal Mia. All she could do was stand there in the distance and try her best to feel her friend's pain. To stand there and gaze at the same sunset in the impossible dream that Ike would someday return and take away everything Mia was surely feeling. It was a childish thing to hope for; she knew that, Ike was gone. A part of her hated her brother for what he'd done, but then another part wondered if Mia would not agonize more over never having truly "known" him. Her heart aches again. It aches at the thought of never being able to see Boyd again, and for a moment she understands her friend just a little bit. So she continues to stare in the hopes that one day maybe she'll figure out how to help her friend, or that one day Mia will turn to see her, and tell Mist how.

* * *

She can barely catch her breath and her own arms seem to resist her every inclination. She promises herself a moment, just a few seconds reprieve to try and breathe without the impossible sensation of feeling as though your lungs are going to burst with every gasp. But she won't allow herself more than that; there isn't enough time in life to be taking too long of breaks, and so with all the strength she can muster, she blows her long blue hair out of her face and lifts the blade once more. She raises it high above her head and brings it down in a perfect diagonal motion, then horizontally, then vertically straight up, but here the weight over comes her and as she brings the blade to the highest point her arms will take it, she stumbles backwards. It's not too awful of a mistake, but enough for her to silently condemn herself.

"Still too damn heavy," she says aloud to herself, "why won't it do what I want it too?"

To the child's defense, the blade is massive, and conversely, she is quite petite, but she fails to accept this fact, or perhaps fails to realize it and instead wills herself to lift it once more and battles through her fatigue to practice her slashes again and again.

* * *

"Commander." the boy says, snapping Mist back to reality. She turns her gaze away from the forlorn sight of Mia and towards her new companion. He is a plain boy, though very well built, with dark brown hair and pale blue eyes, he's young too, just nineteen she would guess. She feels another sudden pang of remorse that for all the time the boy has stayed with them, they still have to guess at his age. "Such a painful sight." He says gesturing towards Mia.

"Quite," Mia replies in saddened tone. His words are sincere, Mist knows this, Mia was the one who taught him almost everything after all, but she also knows that he probably understands about as much as Mist did when she was his age, which was not a lot. "It's sixteen years today." She says, taking one last look at her wartime friend. Seeing that he is too lost and conflicted to try for words, Mist quickly changes the subject.

"Hello, Allen." She regards him with a genuine smile that truly makes him feel welcome at the humble retreat, "I didn't expect to see you back so soon. You could've slept in a little bit you know?"

"Perhaps," he says in return with just a bit of laughter, "but I was anxious to get back home."

The simple gesture of calling the fort home fills Mist with immense happiness. They brought Allen here when he was no more than three or four, it was right that he call it home, and doing so meant that maybe he was finally starting to feel a part of everything.

"Well, we're happy to have you back. Everything went well, I presume?" she asks as she walks away, but slows for a moment to gesture for him to follow. He does so; Allen was good at following orders, (probably the only Greil Mercenary who had any talent for such).

"It did, Commander." He begins, "You were correct in suspecting bandit interference. They attacked as soon as nightfall hit. There was no real damage other than a few broken structures."

Mist takes a moment to study him as they walk. "And no injures on your end I take it then?" she finally asks before the two finally enter a small dining room. Her young friend always had a bit of a habit for hiding injuries to his person. Admirable perhaps, but stupid just as well. It was hardly any trouble for herself or Rhys to heal Allen.

"No, Commander. There were only four of them, and very unskilled. I was able to defeat them with relative ease." He sits down at a table of her choosing as she steps behind a counter and begins to prepare something for him.

"And were you offered payment?" she asks.

"I was," he replies with the start of a slight smile, "of which I promptly and adamantly refused. Ray sends his greetings and gratitude, by the way."

"Very good." She says to him with a laugh, "You did well, Allen. Now eat up, you've probably got a little while until everyone gets back, or in Boyd's case wakes up."

"As you say, Commander." He finishes.

Mist, however, stops at the door before leaving him as if contemplating whether or not to say anything until finally, "And Allen,"

"Yes?" he asks, somewhat surprised.

"I'm going to send out Leila on her first assignment soon, I'd like you to go with her when that happens, so just stay in shouting distance."

He elects only to nod at her silently. She accepts and finally leaves him to himself as he eats the small meal prepared for him.

* * *

None could deny Leila Alondite. The sword was, for all intents and purposes, hers by birthright, but that did not stop her friends from disapproving of her using it. The blade was powerful, among the most powerful in existence, but beyond that it was far too heavy for someone of her age and size to wield. She possessed all her mother's gifts for swordsmanship; she was as swift as the wind, and struck like lightning, but a blade of such massive size was a hindrance to such talents rather than a benefit. "The smallest mistakes in actual battles could kill you", they would say. "Then I'll have to make no mistakes." Was always her reply. She was young, and as young people often believe, she was certain that there was no possible way she could ever be wrong.

Most people would think she was just stubborn, too prideful for her own good, but Leila wasn't an idiot, in fact she was every bit the opposite. The girl was a genius with a sword. And it was because she was a genius that she knew being a genius would never be enough. Forced to face the frustration of knowing every day that she was nowhere near the talents of her comrades was difficult enough, so she worked three times as hard as anyone else to perfect every aspect of her abilities, but knew that in her heart, to accomplish her goals, she would need a blade that could match the abilities she hoped to achieve. And her goals where vast, in fact some would say impossible because her ambition, was in the purist and simplest form, Ike, a man that even time seemed unable to defeat.


	2. Time

**To anyone who is reading, chapter 2!**

"He's come a long way I think." There were more than a few streaks of gray in her gleaming scarlet hair, but she somehow still possessed a mysterious beauty many could attest to, but not explain.

"Yeah, I was a little worried he may not feel all that welcomed as he got older, but Mist took care of that. She was always good at that sort of thing." Many who had known Mia during the war would have said she had not aged a day. Her hair still shinned with that magnificent purple aura, her eyes were as bright and green as they ever were, and she had not a wrinkle about her body, and yet there was something one just couldn't place about her that seemed off. She still possessed the youthful and happy vigor she always had, but something was different, she just seemed distant, as if you were seeing or talking to a person through a thick fog. "She certainly made me feel welcome after the Mad King's War." Continued Mia smiling at the memory of her friend, Mist was indeed a huge influence in making her feel a part of the tight knit family that was the Greil Mercenaries.

"You fit right in with the rest of us, though. This kid was a lot more of a wild card." stated Titania as she took a small log of wood from Mia and placed it on a large stump. "Mist thinks very highly of him though. It's really uncanny; some of us even think she's preparing him for something…." Titania let the words trail in ambiguity knowing her friend knew exactly what she was talking about.

"That's not my call to make, but either way I trust her to make the right decision." Replied Mia as she watched Titania cut through the piece of wood with one large strike of her axe.

Titania responded by glancing up from her work to look her friend in the eyes. The two had grown incredibly close since the conflict of Ashera. They had always been friendly to one another, but after two wars and many more mercenary missions the two really began to grow on each other. Titania was, behind Mist, the best at telling what Mia was thinking, yet, she couldn't quite place the tone of Mia's voice. Was it anger? Annoyance? Sadness? She decided it would be best to let the conversation drop, the fruition of such an event was still a long way off, she thought and there was no reason to press it now.

"You know, some of us even say he reminds us of-"

"Don't say it, Titania." Said Mia, quickly cutting Titania off from completing her thought.

"What?" Titania said innocently laughing, "I'm just saying there are some distinct similarities between the two."

"And many more stark differences." Replied Mia, crossing her arms and addressing her friend with a smile. "The only thing similar I can see is their appetite."

Titania was glad to see the woman smile; she had been worried it was too serious a concept to joke about. "I'm not saying their exactly the same," Titania started as she took another log from Mia, "just that I'm proud of what that boy is becoming." It began as a joke, and Titania was still going about the conversation in humorous manner, but what she was saying was true.

Mia waited a moment before responding and Titania cut through a log in one clean swipe once again. "I'll give you that. He's smart, and a born leader, but if you start making comparisons like that he's going to spend the rest of his life trying to measure up to it." Mia had dropped the humorous tone now altogether and gazed absentmindedly at the sky.

The sudden change in her voice put Titania to shame. She had meant her comments innocently, but she should have known better, what had happened to Leila was unfortunate and clearly Mia didn't want the same for the boy she had found all those years ago. He was as much a son to Mia as Leila was her daughter.

"I suppose then," Titania began as she cut through one more log, "that would be another similarity then."

"Yes, that it certainly would." Replied Mia, still gazing at the sky.

* * *

Leila sat leisurely against the base of a tall oak tree as she sipped from her jug of water in between the heavy sounds of her exasperated breathing. Most people would have just waited and rested for a moment to catch their breath before trying to gulp as much water as possible, but Leila was always in a rush. And like trying to drink the water, she failed to see that rushing almost never leads to success.

Despite her inherent need to hurry, Leila did have an appreciation for the beauty of the world she lived in. The area around her was a wreck; covered with sliced up branches and trees, destroyed practice dummies, and of course two ropes tied to large rocks that she forced herself to drag to and from where she would be training every day. Yet, even through all the destruction she wrought, Leila found peace in the way the birds chirped and the sun shined through the shadows of the trees.

She passed a weary hand through her long blue hair and sighed in enjoyment over the way the breeze felt against the sweat on her arms and face. Fate had been kind to Leila; she had inherited not only her mother's gift for swordsmanship, but also the woman's natural beauty: many people were memorized by the way her green eyes perfectly complimented her long blue hair and her face rivaled the beauty of the Herons. These things mattered little to Leila of course, but that did not stop many young men from stopping her in the streets or old ladies from lamenting about what it was like to be young.

Her eyes wonder from the jug of water as the breeze ends and she glances at Alondite sticking up from the ground. The sword infuriated her; it was as if the blade was taunting her, gloating over the fact that she could not properly wield it. Her eyes burned with fury as she replays every moment when the sword has disrupted her balance or refused to do as she commanded. It was as if she wasn't meant to wield it. She shakes her head violently, no this sword was hers, it was meant for her, she just needed to work harder, but still the sight of the blade makes her anger rise and rise until-

"Leila." The voice shatters her thoughts and brings her violently back to reality. "Leila?" he says again when she doesn't answer.

"What?" she finally responded. The word comes off her tongue slightly annoyed, but other than that it's as friendly an answer as he expects.

"Glad I caught you in between one of you suicide sessions." He says with a laugh trying to strike up some kind of casual conversation. Her eyes break from the sword and towards her visitor. He stands with a strong demeanor and carriers a brilliantly crafter silver sword at his side, a gift from her mother.

"Well you had better talk quickly because I'll be starting up again soon." She replied rather gruffly and finally coming to her feet.

"Mist sent me to get you. We're about to have another meeting, I think this one's somewhat important too." He says, no longer trying to press the conversation.

"If that's all then you can go." She turned her back to him and began to walk towards Alondite.

"Come on, Leila, it won't take more than an hour. Besides I think you've gone at it enough for today." He says gesturing to the state of the surrounding area.

"Why would I go to a meeting of a group I'm not even a part of, Allen?"

"Because you are a part of it." He replies. Normally he would have given up by now, but Allen didn't want to let his commander down. She explicitly stated that she wanted Leila at this meeting.

"Right." She says with obvious sarcasm.

"Don't you think maybe they haven't given your first assignment for a reason?"

"And what reason would that be, Allen? My talents far exceed yours and they send you out all the time." She replied with noticeable spite as she raises Alondite from the ground.

"It's more than that, Leila. Nobody questions your abilities, but you're only fifteen, I went on my first mission two years ago and I was still older than you are now."

"Perhaps, but I'm better than you -then and now. I don't have time to waste on meetings."

He's lost her now. Allen should have been angry at his comrade's blatant display of disrespect, but frankly he hadn't expected anything different, and even more frankly, she was right. She was only about four years younger than him, but Leila had defeated him once and he did not doubt that she could probably do it again.

"Not everything is such a rush Leila. You have time you know. You're first mission will come soon and many more after that. There's no reason for you to dive into this head first when you might not be ready." He tries one last time to make her join him on the way back to their meeting.

She pauses for a moment as if she is about to speak, but quickly continues walking away from Allen and in the opposite direction of Greil's Retreat. He watches her disappear further into the forest before turning to leave as well.

Leila turns to assure herself that he is no longer in sight and finds that no one has followed her; she is once again alone with only her sword and the sounds of the forest to keep her company.

"You have no idea how much time I don't have, Allen," she says to herself as she raises Alondite, "A person can only get so strong from fighting dummies and trees." And with that Leila begins to dance through the woods with her blade once more.

* * *

Allen makes his way slowly and shamefully into the meeting. Everyone who is coming has already gathered and they were clearly waiting for him and Leila before starting. Mist catches his eye from across the room and stares at him questioningly. He shakes his he from left to right in one clean motion and tries to avoid her eyes which he's sure carry nothing but disappointment. The gesture is all Mist needs as she sighs tiredly and she begins to speak…

"Alright, it seems like everyone who can be here is here, so let's begin."

Mia moves her eyes across the meeting room searching for what she knows she will not find. She shakes her head sadly as she feels the guilt weigh upon her shoulders. The meeting is missing three key members, and she knows that's probably all her fault.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so hi, I'm Sentury. I forgot to add a little author's note in my first chapter, but really usually all I say is hi thanks for reading I really hope you enjoyed it. I'm not sure how many people are really reading this haha but I have enjoyed writing it thus far and shall continue for the time being I think. I really have no idea where I'm going other than the ending and one part in the middleish end so I hope that doesn't show in my writing. But anyway if you have any suggestions, criticisms, or compliments, please let me know in a review! (Cause everyone loves a review, its how you get better.)**


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